The next three weeks we will be preparing for the HSPA by reading short texts in class and responding to various HSPA-aligned questions. Based on the texts we read in class, you will be responsible for posting CCEJ responses that analyze specific literary elements. You must talk about why the author uses these techniques and how it contributes to a theme in the text. Below is a list of literary elements for your reference as well as a model post. Remember, you should not agree with another student's post and analyze the same literary element. You must analyze a different element in the text or DISAGREE with a previous post.
LITERARY ELEMENTS: simile (like/as), metaphor (figurative language), irony (opposite of expected outcome), characterization (how character is described), mood (feeling text creates in the reader), diction (word choice), imagery (vivid description), details, setting, foreshadowing (hints at ending), symbolism (objects represent thematic ideas), allusion (reference), allegory (2 meanings, literal and figurative), satire (humor), tone (author's attitude towards topic), theme (message about humanity)
Model Response: based off "Dinosaur"
Dinosaur
In the oral narrative, "Tinfoil Dinosaur" by Sam S. Mullins, the author uses satire to convey a deeper theme about the power of human connection. Mullins describes a desperate time in his life when he was working at a Macaroni Grill and contemplating suicide. The setting of the chain restaurant also enhances the satire of the story that contributes to the heartwarming theme. On a typical miserable dinner shift Sam gets a table that he instantly bonds with. They banter back and forth and when the author asks the final customary question, "Can I get you anything else," the head of the family responds with a straight face, "A tinfoil dinosaur, please." The absurdity of the request is lost on Sam; all he wants to do is please the family. He complies and builds two meticulous sculptures. He realizes as the family is leaving with their dinosaur that he is feeling happy -- an emotion he hasn't experienced in months. This realization and the emotional relief from his depression were made possible by the absurdity of the family's request and the feeling of having a true connection with a stranger. The satire the author uses to describe the family's conversation with their waiter develops this theme of the power of human connection when the family ends up lifting Mullins out of his depression.
FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS THE LINK TO THE CARLY JOHNSTONE STORY "A PERFECT CIRCLE," HERE IT IS:
A Perfect Circle
LITERARY ELEMENTS: simile (like/as), metaphor (figurative language), irony (opposite of expected outcome), characterization (how character is described), mood (feeling text creates in the reader), diction (word choice), imagery (vivid description), details, setting, foreshadowing (hints at ending), symbolism (objects represent thematic ideas), allusion (reference), allegory (2 meanings, literal and figurative), satire (humor), tone (author's attitude towards topic), theme (message about humanity)
Model Response: based off "Dinosaur"
Dinosaur
In the oral narrative, "Tinfoil Dinosaur" by Sam S. Mullins, the author uses satire to convey a deeper theme about the power of human connection. Mullins describes a desperate time in his life when he was working at a Macaroni Grill and contemplating suicide. The setting of the chain restaurant also enhances the satire of the story that contributes to the heartwarming theme. On a typical miserable dinner shift Sam gets a table that he instantly bonds with. They banter back and forth and when the author asks the final customary question, "Can I get you anything else," the head of the family responds with a straight face, "A tinfoil dinosaur, please." The absurdity of the request is lost on Sam; all he wants to do is please the family. He complies and builds two meticulous sculptures. He realizes as the family is leaving with their dinosaur that he is feeling happy -- an emotion he hasn't experienced in months. This realization and the emotional relief from his depression were made possible by the absurdity of the family's request and the feeling of having a true connection with a stranger. The satire the author uses to describe the family's conversation with their waiter develops this theme of the power of human connection when the family ends up lifting Mullins out of his depression.
FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS THE LINK TO THE CARLY JOHNSTONE STORY "A PERFECT CIRCLE," HERE IT IS:
A Perfect Circle
In the oral narrative, "A Perfect Cirlce", by Carly Johnstone, Carly goes through an depressing self conflicting fight where she has to deal with giving up her baby, doing bad things to herself to become her mother, and finally depression. Carly always wanted a baby for her own to create her own family. This shows that she had long time goals and wants to become a loving mother one day. Carly states that once she gave her baby boy away, she began to do bad things. She sworn to never drink or smoke but she did so to become like her mother because that is what she felt she deserved. This is Carly falling into a deep depression.
ReplyDeleteThis seems to be simply a summary of the story. What's your claim? What are you arguing about the text? What literary element are you analyzing? 8/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative, "A perfect Circle", by Carly Johnstone, the author uses mood to express the theme of feeling alone when family is actually around. In her story she tells us of how young she was when she first delivered a baby into the world and her sacrifice of giving that baby up for adoption in order for him to have a better life than the one he would have if he would've stayed with Carly. Carly was abandoned by her own mom and was put into the foster care system herself so when she decided to give her baby up she felt as though she was acting like her own mother. The difference between the two is that Carly would actually visit and be in the child's life. The mood is making the readers very sympathetic of her loss and her endeavors. Carly states that after she gave her baby up, she began drinking and regressing for the next 2/3 years. She had lost hope in her ability to actually form a stable family. Ten years later when she found out she was pregnant again she began to feel like all hope wasn't lost. The baby within her gave her hope that she could have a family, but she also realized her son and his two foster mothers were now apart of her own family. The mood changes in the story from the beginning to the end from sympathy to contentment as she builds and finds a family of her own.
ReplyDeleteGood analysis of how the mood changes throughout the story. I don't think that your theme statement is that strong. 12/15
DeleteBelen Campos
ReplyDeleteIn the oral narrative "A Perfect Circle" by Carly Johnstone the author uses the motif of standards to develop the theme of having high expectations can lead to happiness. Carly grows up with a prostitute as a mother which makes her set the standard to the type of mother she wants to be. She goes from foster home to foster home as she is growing up. Since she experienced that, when she gets pregnant at the age of 16, she decides to make the foster home, which she will be giving her child to, meet many expectations that she sets herself. Throughout the entire short story she explains how she makes the mistake of giving her baby away because she simply had those thoughts of not wanting to be like her mother. She gives her baby away but then she surrounds herself with people she is able to call her family. When she is giving birth to her second child she feels as though she has everything she needs in order to be happy with the arrival of that baby. She set many standards as to how she wanted her family to be and how she wanted her life to be overall. Since she had those rules in her life which she lived by she was able to be happy at the end. She had the family she wanted and was happy.
In the oral narrative "A Perfect Circle" the author Carly Johnstone uses diction to develop the theme that not having a family can destroy you. In the audio, Johnstone used the word "family" multiple times as she spoke about her experiences growing up. When she was young, her home was very not stabilized since her mother was a prostitute and constantly moved all over. However, her mom ended up giving her up for adoption since she felt like she couldn't take care of her daughter no more, so Johnstone was forced to be put up for adoption. As she got older she felt like she could take care of herself and ended up getting pregnant. She began to notice that she could not take care of her child by herself and ended up putting her child up for adoption.She always wanted to have a family of herself and didn't follow behind her mother by giving her child up. Johnstone states, "after never drinking never smoking and never doing anything bad, that's all I did for the next four years. . . I tried destroy myself as quickly as possible". She did this because she was so upset that she had allowed herself to give her child to complete strangers. Since she wasn't allow to have the "family" she always wanted, she began to do harmful things to her body. She felt so bad that she had do the same thing as her mother did to her, which she never wanted to do. Therefore, not being able to have a family of your own can destroy you and make you harm yourself.
DeleteBelen: your analysis of the motif of standards is interesting. I didn't notice her talk about this much, but I understand your point. It would have been improved by a strong theme statement to connect your argument to. 12/15
DeleteShaakirah: Carly was never put up for adoption. Her mother died of AIDS and then her grandparents took her in, then sent her to a group-home. If you are analyzing diction, you should spend less time summarizing the story and more time explaining the effects of certain words on the reader. 11/15
ALLIYAH MCCOLLOUGH
ReplyDeleteThroughout the short aloud story that we listened to in class i said that the theme was that you make your family how ever you want to be. Often people think that a family has a standard and it has to be the actual mother and father and they have to have their own child in order for them to be a family and the author of this read aloud thinks other wise. The author of this read aloud spoke on a lot of things. But one important thing that she spoke about was family. The author did not have a good family background her mother was not there for her when she was a child and she was forced to raise herself and to do things on her own. Then she realized that she was pregnant and she knew that she couldn't take care of her child so she decided to give it up for adoption. When she did that she knew she wanted the family to not be like the typical family, and that she wanted her family to be a same sex family and she wanted them to be very loving a nurturing. Then she found the family and years later she found herself pregnant again and she asked her previous son and the family to come and visit and she noticed that they were all family because it didnt matter that they didnt all have the same mother but that they all had love for one another.
Mostly summary and repeated theme analysis from exit ticket in class. Try and analyze a literary element for full credit. 12/15
DeleteAshlei Daniels blog post 2/05
ReplyDeleteThe story is set up in specific sections. Within every sections is explains the topic of that section and what is going on. For example it's one section about "Setting". in this section it only talks about what going on with the setting, where the story takes place, etc. I believe the author wrote the story like this so that we could know what to look for in each piece and to make things a little less confusing. therefore this is why the author decided to write his short story like this.
This response it too general and undeveloped. Nothing in your paragraph relates to specific events in the text. You could have written this without having read the story. 8/15
DeleteSHAKIIM HL:
ReplyDeleteIn the short story "a short story" the author uses symbolism to develop the theme of in the world there are families that love other things more than each other. The story speaks about a dysfunctional family in which the protagonist Donna Michael is told by her mom that she chose a " newcomer" over her. As she leaves the home she begins to think about the animal heads that was on her fathers wall it states" she decided that whatever had been done with the torso and the legs,art was only interested in the trophy"(543). Her saying this does not only mean that her dad only cared about the head being used as a a trophy it also means that he is caring about the wrong things which makes the family a dysfunctional one. Anyone else would have wondered what happened to the rest of the animal.but the fact that he only cares about the trophy show the large amount if hubris he has in which in not good for the family.
Your theme statement is awkward. What things do families love more than each other? Try "the competition between children and lovers for a parent's love." Be specific about who the "newcomer" is. This description is confusing. Explanation is weak, needs further development to convince the reader. 12/15
DeleteIn this short story the author uses the symbol of a card game in the characters paragraph in order to show how families use irrelevant tactics in order to escape expressing their feelings with one another. The Jacobsen family seems to be extremely dysfunctional. In this paragraph it states, " They spoke short sentences to one another in the course of a card game..." This helps us as readers to understand that the symbol of the card game is used as a family distraction for them not expressing their family issues.
ReplyDeleteThis is a strong analysis of symbolism and a good characterization of the family. Even though it is short, your analysis is astute. Good work. 13/15
DeleteBaleegh McCrimmon
ReplyDeleteIn the oral narrative, "A Perfect Circle", by Carly Johnstone, the theme was to make your family however you want it to be. The protagonist, Carly, decided to have a baby at a young age, and obviously she couldn't take care of it. Then after she had her second child she decided to change her life around. This shows that whatever actions that you make when you have a family, it'll become whatever actions that you took advantage of. Basically she realized the mistakes that she had made when she was out doing things that could mess her life up. If you put your family in a bad situation based on what you do, then trust and believe that your family will come out horrible.
Missing evidence and literary element analysis. Repetition of exit ticket. 10/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative, " A Perfect Circle" the narrator uses the literary element of diction. Carly Johnstone gives a timeline of her life that is filled with struggle and continuous obstacles. But throughout her narrative she uses the word "family" multiple times. In the end she says something along the lines of how she chose her family and now she can call them her own. Growing up she didn't have a stable family or home since her mom was a prostitute. Then she had to give her own child up for adoption because she could provide him with a family she dreamt of. The use of diction adds to the theme of family being what we make it because now she feels secure around the people she has chosen to be affiliated with. She now feels whole and feels love from others she never experienced before. The use of diction helps us develop this theme and the true meaning of family.
ReplyDeleteZaniyah Dock
You must focus on how repeating the word "family" effects the reader. Explanation is mostly summary, not an analysis of diction. 12/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative "A perfect Circle" the narrator uses the literary element of characterization and setting to depict her miserable, yet progressive lifestyle and how she comes to learn the true meaning of family. In the narrative Carly speaks upon her childhood and how she was moved from foster home to foster home, these were cold dark places for her and her mom died of AIDS after prostituting and her grandparents didn't take care of her for long. Carly explains how that cold and dark setting soon progressed when she got her own job and home at the age of 16. She no longer was homeless anymore , but she was pregnant , she promised herself not to be like her mom and leave her child. She signed up for adoption agencies and finally lucked up with a same sex couple that adopted her son. Carly shows growth as a character because she went from not crying everyday because of the lost of her son to being able to eventually move on and start a new family when she was on her feet and ready. Eventually Carly gets her life together and learns the true value of family.
ReplyDeleteGood analysis of character and setting. You do a good job explaining most of the complete context. You could have connected these elements to theme for full credit. 13/15
DeleteIn the narrative" A Short Story" the narrator uses the literary element of details to convey the theme that built up anger can drive one to extreme lengths to get over it. In the story the author uses detail to describe how angry one character is a t another. The text states,"She did not even imagine writing "Mrs A. Jacobsen"...What ambiguity in the delivery of the thought. When it was accomplished and all three knew, what depressing decisions and solitude." The text also states," Then she yanked the scissors toward her, fetching a jolt as they sank into the flesh of his back...Donna turned a smooth quick arc, and shot her mother's face off." Through subtle details, readers can grasp an understanding that Donna does not like her mother and her stepfather quite well. Readers can interpret her violent feelings towards both her mom and stepdad. Readers can interpret, through detail, that Donna also kills her mother with little to no remorse and that it is because of regret. IN all, the narrator uses subtle details to give readers a better understanding of the characters feelings and to help present the theme that life ling hatred towards someone or something can drive one to extreme measures which in this case was death.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you posted about "A Short Story" even thought it was challenging to understand. You have to infer that the conflict between Donna and her mother is over Audrey's relationship with Art. This is missing from this response. 12/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative "A Perfect Circle" by Carly Johnstone, the author uses mood to further analyze her character and the people within her life. She explained how her prostitute mother was a bad influential effect on her life when it came to her feeling a sense of neglect and depression. With all the things that the narrator was feeling was all because of, the fear of becoming just like her mother. This plays into mood and how a character's mood can help a reader characterize a character within a oral narrative or a book. For example in the author's oral narrative, she talks about how she was moved in to foster home after foster home because her mother abandoned her, and this led to her feeling hopeless and depressed throughout her life until she had her second baby. But throughout the narrative we as readers begin to see how mood plays a role in the theme of the oral narrative. Because most of the mood was solemn but then turned into fulfilling and hopeful at the end, it shows the comparison of how sometimes being in a dark place can lead you to the light, which is the moral theme within this narrative.
ReplyDeleteWhen you analyze mood remember what we studied in Q1. Pick an element of DIDS that creates mood to talk about. Characters don't have moods, because mood is about the feelings an author is trying to create in a reader. 12/15
DeleteRASHANA MAY
ReplyDeleteIn the short story Bowering it explains the story in different parts for the readers to have a clear understanding of the passage and the characters within the short story. For example in the text it gives the setting in which the author gives a description of where the Jacobsen's are living and the what surrounds them. In the passage it says , " Now it was panelled with knotty cedar , animal heads looking across at one another from the walls , & the Jacobsen's sat there..". The setting gives a clear visual of where they are at this point of the text. This author uses setting and other literal devices to give the characters a better insight of what is occurring in the story.
Your explanation is too general here. You need to explain the significance of the structure of the story and refer to specific elements within it. You merely provide a very general summary of the purpose of a setting that could relate to any text. 8/12
DeleteMILAN BAILEY:
ReplyDeleteIn the oral narrative, "A Perfect Circle" by Carly Johnstone, she goes through the some of the most dramatic situations at a young age. She moved out of her home when she was 16 and started living on her own. At age 17 she became pregnant, but she couldn't keep her child. This experience teaches her that in order to have a baby she has to be ready emotionally, mentally, and physically. She states in the narrative that she was hoping that her son would forgive her about giving him away as she said her first hellos and her last goodbyes while watching his new family strap him into a car. At that point she wasn't ready mentally. Furthermore, she said that when she got home, she "shattered into a thousand pieces." at that moment, she wasn't ready emotionally. She also says that instead of her body looking that a young, healthy 17 year old girl, she looks a mess.
Mostly summary. Pick a literary element to analyze. You quote a metaphor -- what does it mean, what is the effect on the reader, how does it relate to theme? You should answer these questions. 11/15
Deletein the oral narrative " a perfect circle" the author uses alot of lietary elemnts to help describe the theme of the story. The author main focus was characterization and imagery because as carly describes the way she was brought up. She states "her mother was a prostitue" the readers can picture how an prostitiue look. The author is bascially describing carly as being independetn ata young age on her own because she didnt want to become like her mother . Although she was only sixteen at the time she managed to finish school early and move . Carly was pregenant to so she always wanted what was best for her and her child when she got older. Sh says " i always wanted something to call mines' meaning she always wanted to do anything better then her mother. The author helps the reader understand how carly was feeling and by describing her character as a very strong independent teenager. It also helped the reader realize how important it is to make sure you dont let the way you grow up affect the live off your own child. Even though carly lif wasnt the best she manage to turn out alot better with her new family of her own.
ReplyDeleteA few errors in grammar (fragments, subject verb). Your example is not imagery because there is no descriptive language in the quote. There are also some typos and errors in punctuation. You do not ever explain the theme that you introduce in your claim which makes your response incomplete. 7/12
DeleteIn the oral narrative "a perfect story", the author who is telling a story about her life uses the literacy elements of irony to get the theme across. From her life story , the theme developed is that family can either strengthen a person mentally or break them down mentally. In her story she explains how she had a rough childhood with being exposed to prostitution, being molested, drugs and being in fosters home. Ironically she turned her life around at a the age of sixteen holding down a job, her own apartment, and attending a community college. Once she got pregnant at the age of sixteen and gave her baby up for adoption she unexpectedly broke down for the next couple years, harming herself with drugs and alcohol. She never had love from a family so she didn't have the support in which she wanted for her son. She gave her son up to a loving couple who had great family support and every time she would visit she would get a little bit better mentally. Ironically by her being stable and then unstable back to stable again, this all happened through family. Her sons family made her feel live which mentally made her stronger whereas her own family broke her down in her childhood. Irony was used to show the theme that a family can either make a person stronger mentally, or break them down mentally.
ReplyDeleteYour explanation of irony could be described a little more clearly, but I understand what you are getting at. 13/15
DeleteJasmine Wills
ReplyDeleteIn the oral narrative "A Perfect Circle", the author Carly Johnstone, uses several literary elements throughout the narrative, but in particular she uses details to convey the theme of the meaning of family. Carly Johnstone grew up in a broken home, her mother died of AIDS and her mothers parents took care of Carly,but gave her back to the state after a while. Also,Carly became pregnant at the tender age of 16,and she gave the baby up for adoption to a lesbian couple because she knew she couldn't provide the baby with the essential things, he needed to survive. Carly says: " And Gretchen was strong and unflappable,and Gwenie is tiny, and nurturing, and loving". Carly gave her newborn son to a lesbian couple whose names were Gwen and Gretchen. Gwen and Gretchen were the ideal family in Carly's eyes. They provided the net that Carly herself couldn't provide.
Your theme statement is vague -- what is the meaning of family? You should make an argument about it. Also, details are not really a literary element. 11/15
DeleteIn the short story, "A Short Story", the author uses allegory to convey the theme that family doesn't always come first. in the short story a mother, Audrey Jacobsen, chooses her husband , Art Jacobsen, over her own daughter, Donna. in the conflict section of the story the author states ," ... she still loved her mother,... though they had not spoken to each other on the telephone sine Jacobsen mounted her as his casual season's trophy... when it was accomplished , and all three knew, what depressing decisions and solitudes" (544). Art Jacobsen raped his step daugher , Donna and although her mother was aware she did nothing and still chose her spouse over her daughter. the author uses the allegory of being mounted literally meaning to be set up against something and figuratively meaning rape. the theme that family doesnt always come first is developed by the relationship between donna and her mother. Audrey puts her marriage before her daughters safety. she allows her man to violate her daughter and not only get away with it ,but risks it happening again.
ReplyDeleteAn-Nisa Jones
ANALOGY not allegory. The quote isn't a story with a figurative meaning, but a comparison. Otherwise your analysis is good. 13/15
DeleteIn the short story, "A Perfect Circle", the author uses a series of literary elements. Some most outstanding in the text is irony and theme. The author's decision to have a child, symbolism for a chance to start over, is ironic. Coming from a family that didn't love her affected her at the young age of 16 and resulted in her wanting to have a child thinking it would make everything better. However, in the end she knew she wasn't able to care for a child, and gave it up for adoption ending in her feeling lonely. Even though she had wished for a feeling of completeness from a baby, which is the overall theme of the short story, she couldn't feel complete. However, it was foreshadowing for the ending she always wanted. Later on in life she found a person to have a child with when she was on the right track, and got closer with her son, and his family that adopted him. It was a new beginning for her, and the start of a life that she could be proud of.
ReplyDeleteGood explanation of irony and foreshadowing. 14/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative, "A Perfect Circle", by Carly Johnstone, Carly uses a diction to convey a deeper theme about the way she found family in her own way. In her story she introduces her life as a young girl, growing up with not having a full real loving family, having a mother who was a prostitute, spending half a year in foster care, and getting pregnant at 16. She sent the baby into foster care, she wanted to keep the baby so she kept in touch with the foster couple. She wanted to have a family of her own at the same time. Carly realized when getting pregnant and then having a supportive group around her she says "wanted a family that's mine...these amazing people gave me a foundation of what a family should be and what love and loyalty is... I wasn't alone"(Audio, The Moth). it turns out Carly understood that people around her who show affection and love can be a family as well. Her word choice of a perfect circle is based off the family she created along with her friends and daughter and her son and his foster parents.
ReplyDeleteMostly summary. You mention diction in your claim but don't explain how any of the author's word choices affect the meaning of the text. This makes your writing appear unfocused. 11/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative, the author uses irony to depict the theme that family and friends and having loved ones on your side actually makes life obstacles easier to deal with. Though Mirandah claims that irony was used to express the change Carly put herself through, I believe that irony is actually used to express the change in life that Carly's new family and friends helped her obtain. In the story, Carly has a baby at the age of sixteen. When she had the baby her family was not there for her, nobody was there to support her. At this time, her lifestyle was not fit for a baby to be raised in and Carly realizes this, therefore she puts her child up for adoption. Carly deals with the struggle of not having what's hers, her own baby. She even says, "I had to watch these strangers take my baby away." After this, she knows that she has to change; when her child gets older she says she wants to be somebody worth meeting for the first time. And so that's what Carly does, she changes her lifestyle from good to bad. Yet, years later, she has another baby. That's the irony. Who would have thought after all her life struggles, and having a responsibility bigger than her age, she would go on to have another baby? Only this time she had support. She had family and friends. This time so many of her loved ones visited her in the hospital, that, she says, all of them couldn't be allowed in to see her. This time Carly's loved ones sent her so many gifts for her child, Asha, that it took up all the room in her garage. This time she could keep this baby, and this time she can show her son, Henry, that his Mom is worth meeting. This shows that with family and people supporting someone, dealing with life's obstacles becomes less of a struggle.
ReplyDeleteYour explanation of irony and the context of the story is really thorough. Good work! 14/15
DeleteThe author creates the literary element of foreshadowing . Because through out the story "A Short Story".Donna mother Audrey Jacobsen would always put her husband Art Jacobsen before her daughter.Art raped Donna and her mother knew and never said anything about it to Art.Which lead her to have conflict with her mother.Donna mother was never on her side and didn't show and sense of care for her. This gave readers a foreshadow that something dramatic would eventually happen toward the end.For example in the text Audrey states" For god sakes girl that my husband!...He's my husband he's all i have!". "Donna turned a smooth quick arc & shot her mothers face off"(567). This is showing how the author creates the literary element of foreshadowing by giving the readers hints that something was going to happen to either Art or Donna mother since Art raped her and her mother not caring for Donna and acting as if Donna is not her daughter.
ReplyDeleteErrors in punctuation and grammar (use apostrophe for possession). Your explanation is also rushed and hard to follow (possibly due to grammatical errors). Please proofread your work before submitting. 8/15
DeleteIn the narrative " A short story" , the character introduces the meaning of the story through the literary element of symbolism. In the text Donna Jacobsen is conveyed as a creep. She buried her dead dog and as long as she knew where the body was buried it was a kept secret she held to herself. She loved her dog and animals in general , she couldn't imagine eating one or even killing one , but then again she couldn't remember . The author makes it seem as if Donna's brother had an interest in killing animals for trophies , but as a reader I got the feel of a weird obsession with killing them for a thrill. In the text it states ",He talked about nature a lot, but he was quite comfortable under the stare of big glass eyes... She knew where Bridey was & that was all that was necessary"(543). Clearly Donna didn't want her brother to know where her dead dog was buried because he'd see if he could get a trophy for it. She kept the dog hidden , plus that was her only escape to still connecting with the dog if she was the only one that knew where it was.
ReplyDeleteMisread the text -- Art is not her brother, but her stepfather. The reader is to infer that he raped her ("mounted her") and that is what caused the distance between her and her mother. 10/15
DeleteIn the short story by George Bowering, he uses literary elements such as setting and theme to show the deeper meaning about how anger can drive a person crazy and causes them to go to the extreme to overcome the problem. In the story he uses the setting to describe how he's in a bad mood and how he misses the good times. Bowering states, "Starlings were growing impatient with the season, tired of competing for scraps behind the Safeway store in town, eager for those high blue days when the cherries would be plump & pink . . ." (541). The author explains how Donna want things to be like the old days and hate how things are now. In the story he uses theme to show how anger can cause a person to struggle to calm down. he states, "She pickt up the shotgun & fired the other barrel, & threw it over the side of the hill" (547). Bowering shows how Donna relieves her stress by shooting her gun. The use of literary elements helps the reader understand the deeper meaning of how anger causes a person to do many things so they can relieve the pain.
ReplyDeleteGood connection of literary elements and details of setting to larger themes in the story. 14/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative, "A Perfect Circle", by Carly Johnson. Carly deals with regret after putting her first child up for adoption. Also, Carly deals with depression after spending 9 months nurturing the baby she has to give her son away because she isn't able to take care of him. During this time Carly is hurting herself and is not doing anything to better her life. She feels a part of her was torn fron after giving away her first son but, she also does not want her son to deal with the trouble of her not being able to take care of him. Carly states, "I was abandoned by my mother, even though it hurts.. I didn't want the same for him.. I did what was best for him". Clearly giving him away hurts her dearly but she doesn't want her son growing up whit knowing what it feels like to have a stable and supporting family around him.
ReplyDeleteMostly summary -- try to connect to theme or a literary element. 11/15
DeleteIn "A Short Story", the author uses satire in the story. She uses satiric misspelling. She replaces words that should end with -ed with a -t. For example, she spells soaked as "soakt" and walked as "walkt". She does this to show that everyone makes mistakes, even the author of the book.
ReplyDeleteDoes your analysis really fit in with the dark themes of the story? I would need more explanation of your thoughts and development in your argument to be convinced. 9/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative, "A Perfect Cirlce", by Carly Johnstone, the author chooses to use characterization to develop the theme of the short story. Johnstone experienced a difficult childhood leading up to her learning the true meaning of family. The author explains how she had to live with the fact that her mom was a prostitute, moving from foster home to foster home and basically being on her own. Also Johnstone didn't want to live the life her mother lived. She explains how she finished school early at the age of sixteen and got her own apartment and job to support her child. The reader can see that Carly Johnstone learned to be independent and provide for herself and found a way to support her child differently from her mothers.
ReplyDeleteIn the oral narrative "A Perfect Cirlce" the author expresses the theme time heals all wounds. In the story she was uncomfortable around her babies new family. But as time went one "it was easier to go every August". Because she felt like she let herself and her baby down by giving it away, she felt like she turned into her mother. This burden was carried around for years, however as time went on she became comfortable with seeing her son. The author became so comfortable that her son came to her house. As time goes by she starts to except the fact that she messed up and starts to except herself
DeleteGood analysis and interpretation. 14/15
DeleteTamra -- If you are introducing theme in your claim you must make an assertion about what the theme of the text is! This is mostly summary -- you don't analyze a literary element and connect it to theme, even though you mention "theme" in your claim. 9/15
DeleteIn the narrative " A Perfect Circle" the author uses tone to develop the theme of that family can build a person up or tear them down but in the end it is important to people. In the narrative the tone of the story is humor sometimes but also hope. In her story she tells of all the bad things that family has done to her. How it abandoned her and raped her and did not want to help her. So she felt as though she did not need one. That she would be on her own , bu it didn't turn out that way she became pregnant. However she knew she provided the child with a family, the father was not there, she was not even stable enough to take care of the child and she didn't want to give the baby the same " family" she had. In the end she did give the baby up, but she wanted to make sure she gave him to the perfect family. She she had interviews and asked questions and set criteria to make sure they reached it. Then she became pregnant again but this time she ready to start her own family and make sure it was perfect. In the end she was hopeful that her born child would have a perfect family because she that it made a difference in the child life.
ReplyDeleteProofread. You have some errors in spelling/word choice. The tone should be an adjective: humorOUS or hopeFUL. You mention tone in your claim but don't explain it in the response. This makes your writing seem unfocused. 12/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative "A Perfect Cycle" by Carly Johnstone, ms. Johnstone expresses the theme that a persons family is not only the one they are born into, but whom a person choosed to sourround themself with. Carly grows up in a broken family, her mother was a prostitute who died of AIDS and her grandparents couldnt deal with her. She says "she spends about 5 years with her grandparents until they couldnt take anymore". Carly was bounced around many times in her life, she never had a "real" family. Then when she became pregnant and decided to give her son up to a family that she knew could raise him better than she could herself, she realized that it was time for her to change her life around. She began sourounding herself with people that actually love her and care aboit her well-being. The people that she found and loved her, was her family.
ReplyDeleteGood theme statement. Solid summary to explain it. You could have incorporated an analysis of literary elements. 13/15
DeleteIn the story, " A Perfect Circle" the author uses a metaphor to show the main character Donna issue with her father. Donna had a rough childhood while living with her parents. She didn't have the perfect happy home every child wishes for. The author Carly Johnstone conveys this in a simple metaphor. In the text states, "She felt as if, yes, she still loved her mother, that strange older woman in polyester slacks, though they had not spoken to each other on the telephone since Jacobsen had mounted her as his casual season's trophy." Here the author depicts the main issue among Donna and her father. Donna father had raped her when she was little and her mother didn't even care about it. As a child she felt alone in the world and no one to count on. To her father Donna was his biggest trophy he had gotten something no one else had, that's why the author describes her as a trophy because he was a man who did taxidermy. Someone who collected heads of animals as trophies since he killed the animals. Therefore, the author uses a metaphor to show how Donna was rape and was seen as her father biggest accomplishment.
ReplyDeleteGood analysis of the metaphor and its significance to the conflict. Be careful -- you're confusing the two stories. This is about "A Short Story" not "A Perfect Circle," and the main character is Donna, not Carly. 12/15
DeleteIn the short story written by George Bowering, he uses the literary element of characterization to show the deeper meaning of how distant relationships with family can cause people to do extreme things to feel better. Donna Michaels was a young girl who grew up with her mother and her mother's boyfriend who she did not like because all of her mother's attention went on her boyfriend.She was distant and she only had a good relationship with her dog that died. In the text it says, "Her dog Bridey passed away after a fit when she was twelve. She dug a deep hole & dropt her in & covered her up...She knew where Bridey was, & that was all that was necessary (543)." Because Donna did not have a good relationship with her mother and any one else she grew close to her dog and when he died she had nothing else to care about. Because Donna had so much anger in her from not getting any attention from her mother, she decided to kill her mother's boyfriend.Her character never changed as a young child, the anger she had for her mother just escalated into her killing Art. In the end, Donna wants her mother to feel what it is like to feel alone.
ReplyDeleteGood explanation of context and Donna's characterization. However you confused a crucial detail in the plot of the story. She kills her mother -- not Art. 12/15
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteKiorie Hammond
ReplyDeleteIn the oral narrative, a "Perfect circle" the author Carly johnstone conveys the theme of teenagers can grow up way too fast when they have to become adults at an early age. This theme is best conveyed by imaginary, when the author vividly describes her body as worn out like an older adult not a young person. She just recently given birth to her son and gave him up for adoption because she was too young to fully take care of him. She describes her body as flappy, purple strecth marks across her tummy, and a new love handle. She no longer had that perfect 16 yr old body, quickly it started to age and turn 40. This best shows the theme because at 16 the author had to quickly grow up and she was no longer young and virbant. Showing when teenagers are forced to grow up they become adults too young of an age to handle.
Good job including theme statement in your claim. Excellent connection with imagery. 14/15
DeleteAmiyah Williamson
ReplyDeleteIn the oral narrative "Perfect Circle" spoken by Carly Johnstone develop a theme that having a broken family can destroy a person. In the audio Johnstone talks about family many times. When she was younger she was moved from family to family because he mother was a prostitute and then soon enough was stable with her grandmother and she force to go into a religion that she really didn't want. As she got older she believed that she can do things on her own, but later on she gets pregnant and gave the baby boy up for adoption because she didn't know what a family was and didn't know how to care for a child at sixteen. She didn't want to follow in her mother foot steps, but she didn't have any other choice to do, but she always wanted a family for herself but she believed that she wasn't really ready for one at the age she was. After she gave her son up for adoption she went down hill she says, " I didn't know what to do i had a good start..trying not to be my mother but i was...after never drinking and never smoking for the next four months that's what i did". Carly wanted a family but she couldn't have one because she didn't have herself together to get a family together and for that to happen she had to change herself. Carly had destroyed herself because she didn't have that family that she had imagine, after getting her act together she started a family and had another child a baby girl.
Some small errors in grammar and punctuation. Make sure you proofread. Also, if you state in your claim that the theme is "how having a broken family can destroy a person," you should link back to that idea in your justification. You seem to be introducing a new idea by going on to talk about the new daughter, Asha, instead of focusing on your theme. 10/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative, "A Perfect Story" by Carly Johnstone ,the author uses the literary element mood to convey the emotions that the reader felt while reading the narrative .The mood of the narrative was sentimental. Carly tells the story of her life in a way that allows the reader to feel sad.She talks about her difficult life from childhood up unto adult hood. Her mother was a prostitute that died from aids. She lived in foster homes through out her life until she was old enough of caring for herself. She uses this literary element so that leaves the reader in a emotional state of mind after hearing her life story. Carly says,"As you might note, people who don’t want children probably shouldn’t have them. I went from being touched much too much in really painful and monstrous ways, to never being touched at all." The mood the author uses describes Carly's life and the way that impacted her emotionally leaving the reader feeling sentimental for what she had went through.The mood of sentimental connects to theme that a persons's childhood can emotionally damage a person. Carly's childhood was a terrifying sight and she allowed the reader to feel it by using the mood to portray the story and make the reader feel it as well.
ReplyDeleteGood analysis! 14/15
DeleteIn the "Perfect Circle", Carley Johnstone conveys the theme of abandon families is what leads to self destruction. Carley conveys this theme through diction. Throughout the oral narrative, Carley constantly talked about love and family and how she always wanted one of her own and wanted to be able to love something of her own. With Carley's past and childhood is what prevented her from seeing a perfect family because of the fact she grew up without a father and her mother was a prostitute. So finally while she was on her own at 16 she had got pregnant and had a baby of her own. The only thing with that is she couldn't afford to keep the baby so she put it up for adoption. In the oral narrative, she stated along the lines of "I was 17 when I had my baby and knew I couldn't take care of my baby so I had to put it up for adoption... I decided to have an open relationship with the baby so that I would still be able to see him" (Johnston). So with that Carley had gave her baby up, but that ended up hurting her. So now without her baby, she felt the need to hurt and destroy herself. As stated along these lines she said, "I had begun taking drugs because I wanted to destroy my self and felt as though I didn't belong here anymore. I wanted to die" (Johnston). With that quote it prove how Carley felt about not having her baby with her no more because all she ever wanted was a family and without that she was nothing. Family is something that is very important to people and without a family people in life feels incomplete and abandoned. Therefore with that, Carley uses diction to portray the theme of how abandon families can lead to self destruction.
ReplyDeleteErrors in theme statement: "abandonment by family leads to self destruction." You must focus on how repeating the word "family" effects the reader. Explanation is mostly summary, not an analysis of diction. 12/15
DeleteIn the short story, "A Perfect Circle" the author Carly Johnstone describes her life when she found out that she had got pregnant at 16. The literay elements that Carly uses is foreshadowing. In the beginning of the short story, Carly talks about how her life growing up wasn't that great. Her mother was a prostitute and had died of AIDS. She went into forster care for a year and a half year before her grandparents took her in, but then they let her go. After that she was basically on her own. When she found out she was pregnant she couldn't believe it. She didn't have a perfect childhood so she didn't want her baby to go through what she did. She wanted her baby to have a "family" something she never had. Carly foreshadowed that everything happens for a reason and one day she will finally be happy. She wanted to give the child the life she never had, but she knew she couldn't do it by herself and she knew she didn't want to abort the baby. She also knew she didn't want to just gave away the baby. After giving away the baby and finally getting the courage to start seeing him when he was 9, she started to get her life together. She saw that her son, Henry was in good hands and it was time for her to get it together. After going through some recovery, she had got pregnant again. This pregnancy she was prepared for. Then after finally seeing Henry interact with her new daughter, she finally realized that she had a family and she was happy.
ReplyDeleteYou don't explain the foreshadowing at all. This is mostly summary. 10/15
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIn the oral narrative " A Perfect Circle", the author uses characterization to develop a deeper theme that having a family can shatter one's fears of loving again which can cause one to be amiable. Abandoned by her mother at a tender age, Johnson was left to raise herself after being tossed to and from numerous foster homes. Emancipated by the age of 16, and having never felt loved from her parents or anyone who came across her path, Carly found herself with child. Throughout the narrative, Carly describes herself as one who rejected all outlets of love, compassion and generosity because she was never shown affection. However, upon conceiving her first child, Carly met a family willing to take her baby up for adoption. Not only was this family compliant with Johnson's criteria, but they showed an abundance amount of love and respect to Carly. It was with this family that she knew could accept love from others. Thus, after having her second child, she describes the emergency room "filled to capacity, that they had to send people out the waiting room". Instead of being bitter and cruel. Johnson became so amiable that people flocked the emergency room to support her. Even after one is torn and emotionally abused all their life, it can be difficult to accept love; however, with the support of a family who is loving and compassionate, one can release themselves from a constant state of anger and bitterness.
ReplyDeleteTheme statement is awkward. "Amiable" is not the word I think you want here. You do a much better job of explaining your theme in your justification. 13/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative, a "Perfect Circle" the author Carley johnstone explains how her struggles are what made her stronger in the end. The theme is developed through details about what she went through throughout her life from when she was younger to now. She uses details to describe her feelings and the pain she had to go through of growing up at a young age an being pregnant. This shows how details develop the theme of struggles being what made her stronger in the end because she describes her pain of being an early mother an having to give up on the one thing that she always wanted, a family. Also details help to show how her knowing that she needed to be better a person an describe how she cried every time she left from seeing her son gave her the strength to want to achieve what she really wanted in being able to provide for her own family.
ReplyDeleteExplanation is is awkward. Explain clearly how the SPECIFIC events prove your theme. Repeatedly mentioning details confuses the reader. Instead, give the specific details and the context that prove your argument. 11/15
DeleteIn the oral narrative, the speaker's symbol of a child shows irony. Although the girl wasn't loved by her own family, she love babies and wanted some for her own. When her chance to have one came around, it was ironic that she didn't take advantage of the opportunity. Throughout the narrative, the speaker doesn't want to be anything like her mother. Her mother had kids but she didn't take care of them, causing them to go into foster care. In the narrative she states, " I didn't want to be like my mother. I turned out to be worst then my mother because I was able to give my child away". This quote shows another ironic moment. Although she spent her life in school and away from drugs unlike her mother, she ended up thinking of herself as less honorable than her mom.
ReplyDeleteYour explanation of the irony is a little unclear. Explain exactly what is the opposite of what the reader expects and why. Also, don't forget to quote the text. 11/15
DeleteIn the short story entitled a " A short story" the author uses characterization to enforce the theme of resulting effects from built up anger. The author uses uses characterization to explain the protagonist, Donna. The explanation of her life, actions and description of her gives us a glimpse into what he went through and how her inner anger came about. "She felt as if, yes, she still loved her mother, that strange older woman .. Though they had not once spoken to each other on the telephone since Jacobsen had mounted her as his casual seasons trophy." The characterization of Donna helps us understand and infer about how she was abduct and betrayed by her own mother. These problems then lead her to kill her step father, for he was the cause of her inner pain and anger. Clearly the effects of inner anger are severe and we can conclude this through the characterization of Donna.
ReplyDeleteZaniyah Dock
Explain the meaning of your quote. You assume the reader has come to the same interpretation as you without explaining how the quote shows what happened between Donna, her mother and her stepfather. 12/15
DeleteBelen Campos
ReplyDeleteIn the short story, "A Short Story" the author uses details to develop the theme of consequences of when one is left alone through ones struggles in life. Donna was raped by her step father and she told her mother but her mother chose to stay with the step father over looking after Donna. As she had to leave the place she once called home at the age of 15, she moved into the city where making bad decisions was the only option she had left. In the text it states, “Having done five, she lay back and imagined the john walking back to his hotel” (546). The author describes the career path that she decided to take as she arrived to the city. She became a prostitute. The author describes with vivid details the way she arrived to the job, she did, as she was abandoned by her mother at an early age. The consequences of being put as a second option when compared to her step father after he had raped her led to Donna’s downfall. Her downfall was becoming a women who sold her body in order to get money but this only happened because her mother was not able to support her when she mostly needed someone.
Details not really a literary element. What section of the story reveals this information? I believe it's flashback. You should analyze flashback for your literary element. 12/15
DeleteDESTINY J:
ReplyDeleteIn “A Short Story” the literary element allegory is used to help present the conflict of the story. The protagonist Donna is the daughter of Audrey Jacobsen and step daughter of Art Jacobsen. Art as a hobby where he hunts for animals and then stuffs their heads and hangs them as trophies. While explaining the conflict of the story it states that Donna and her mother “ had not once spoken to each other on the telephone since Jacobsen had mounted her as his casual season’s trophy.” The literal meaning of that statement applies that her step father had took Donna’s head off stuffed and mounted it on the wall as a trophy just like he did to the animals. The figurative meaning of that statement is that her step father had raped her and hurt her liked he hurt them animals. This allegory revels that what happened is the seed of all of the conflicts between Donna and her family, also between her and her relationship with the world.
A statement cannot be an allegory (the term only applies to an entire text). What you are talking about is an ANALOGY. 10/15
DeleteTARAE C:
ReplyDeleteIn the oral narrative, the author use tone and imagery to portray different themes. The author describes the adoptive family in detail to show trust and who she was giving her child away to. Also, the author describes her children at birth and when her son held her daughter. It showed the theme of family and togetherness. The tone was emotion and sad at times to show how much she loved her kids. At times her voice would seem so protective and innocent like she meant the words she was saying when she said she wanted to change after visiting her first child. The tone and imagery was used appropriately and effectively to portray various themes .
You need to develop and explain your ideas more by using text evidence. 10/15
DeleteVERONICA B:
ReplyDeleteIn George Bowering's "A Short Story", the events that occur in the life of a young woman, Donna Jacobsen, who takes vengeance upon her imposing step father, Art, are portrayed through Bowering's strong diction, setting a devastating mood for readers. Donna, while visiting her family after staying away for seven years, struggles to revive her broken relationship with her mother and stepfather. As the tension between each individual intensifies, Donna is overwhelmed with the anger that she has retained since the instance in which she was raped by her step father years ago. Bowering describes the past occurrence as having hosted "depressing decisions and solitudes" (Bowering 544). As the rising action proceeds, Donna acquires a shotgun from her step father's collection of weaponry. Bowering's diction leads to the instance in which Donna possesses the opportunity to take revenge upon her step father by killing him, so she manages to lead him in to the family's front room, "backward" at gun point. Shockingly - to the reader - Donna murders her mother: "[She] turned a smooth quick arc and shot her mother's face off" (567). This string of events was portrayed by Bowering as one with jarring instances in which the rising tension goaded Donna to commit a final act of retaliation. Bowering creates a depressing mood for readers as they learn of the family's central conflict. By referring to the family's reactions as ones of solitude and depression, it is evident to readers that Art's raping of Donna brought about a huge devastation in their household, causing each individual, especially Donna, to retreat into a state of personal existence and isolation. To amplify such devastation, Bowering tells of Donna's decision to leave her family. Then, to further draw readers into the plot of the story, Bowering describes Donna's final acts of revenge. The reader is made aware of her intimidating influence on her stepfather when Bowering states that Art backs into the front room. This diction effectively communicates Bowering's intentions to depict Art as having completely seceded to Donna's imposition and threats. This drives readers to grow suspenseful of whether Donna shall proceed in murdering Art in cold blood. Finally, though, Bowering concludes this encounter by shocking the reader and telling them that Donna "shot her mother's face off". Such explicit diction causes a sudden revelation that Bowering's previous intentions were to mislead the audience, vilifying Art. Instead, the suspense is concluded through Bowering's explicit diction that suggests that an extreme bout of rage and cold-bloodedness filled Donna's being in that instance. Bowering's diction as the story reached it's climax effectively created a growing suspense among readers, eventually shocking them with a devastating occurrence.
Outstanding analysis. 15/15
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete